Really, I am not smoking the drapes. “Not knowing” is a good thing. “Not knowing” is powerful.
When you don’t know something, you are a blank canvas for new ideas and thoughts that allow you to create. When you don’t know something, it allows new thinking to come in. When you don’t know something, you can be open to wisdom coming to you.
But this “not knowing” is challenging for most people. It causes the body to tighten--it is a perceived danger that could cause pain. Think of “not knowing” in high school. What happened to you when you didn’t know the answers on a test? Were you rewarded or punished? Did you become afraid of failing a test? And then what would happen? What would your parents say? Think of your boss asking you a question at work that you didn’t know. Did you think you might not get a raise or were you concerned about whether you would have a job? Notice what happens in your body when you have these thoughts. Does your body tighten or open?
When your body tightens, it means your body is afraid. ]When your body thinks it will experience pain, it won’t open up. Period. It enters survival mode. That is what makes “not knowing” so challenging. Somehow, you have to overcome the instinct of your body. Your body does not like pain. It will do everything it can to avoid pain--perceived or real.
To overcome this perceived pain, you have to become aware of it first. If you are not aware of it, your body will run the show. Once you are aware, you can accept the fear or discomfort ,and then use your mind to choose to open up.
When you want to create something new, or do something differently, you have to “not know.” You have to be open and curious. You have to be open to learning and discovering. It is an exciting time if you are really open. Think of a time when you just met someone new and you were falling in love. Wasn’t it exciting? You didn’t know the other person. You had to learn about them. It was also scary because you didn’t know. You had to pay attention. Think of traveling to a foreign place, where you didn’t know anyone or had never been before. You became aware and open. You had to learn everything.
The good news is as humans this is what we do. We learn. We can learn new ideas, do new behaviors, and create new structures. We just have to be open and trust what comes to us.
Next time you are stuck in a problem I challenge you to surrender to “not knowing”. Yes,
you can actually decide that you don’t know. What is so amazing about this, is that all of the thinking you have about the subject can disappear. And then all of the thinking that has caused you pain or limited you will go away. The thinking goes away like the water down a drain.
The thing is...you have to be patient and trust that new thinking will come in. Trust that your wisdom will kick in. It always will if you relax.
Every human has access to wisdom. It is our birthright. For me, when I am hiking with my clients, they will often ask me something that I don’t know. I always say to them: “I don’t know and I don’t have to know, the answer will come to me when I need to know.” And it always does.
Try it and see what happens. As always, if you have any questions, please call me.