“I hate you mom” my daughter screams at me as she stomps out the door.
I want to rip her face off. I can’t stand her. I can believe what a bitch she is. These are my immediate thoughts. I can’t control them. The thoughts come flooding in.
I hate these thoughts. I wish they were not mine. It makes me even more upset because I have been working on myself for the past 27 years, I know better. But alas here they are.
After these thoughts I remember center. I have been practicing center for the past 17 years. I feel like this practice is my life preserver in moments like this.
I take a deep breath in up my back and exhale down my front, softening. Then I put the attention on the space around me. Then I ask what it would be like to soften my shoulders and chin. And then I ask my body what it would be like to have just a little more ease in the moment?
Instead of rage I begin to feel my sadness and pain. Not knowing how to help and support this child I love so much hurts me so much. I can feel her pain and I don’t know how to help her which makes me like a wild animal in a cage.
I center again. I connect with my love for her, my deep commitment to staying on the path with her, to continue to open up to her and help her in any way that I can.
Centering gets me present with what is. Center builds my capacity to be with what is; even if it is painful. Center allows me to be more effective with the people I care about and the people I am challenged by.
A few minutes have passed and I did not yell and scream at my daughter. I gave her space. I go in and talk to her calmly with love.
If you find yourself challenged by people and would like to learn more about the power of center, please feel free to contact me.