Call Off the Search: Ending a 35-Year Quest
I’ve spent most of my adult life seeking, trying to improve myself, trying to find “the truth.” I studied with masters like Fernando Flores, Toby Hecht, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Wendy Palmer, Pema Chödrön, Tony Robbins, Donny Epstein, and the late Sydney Banks. I explored somatic work, breathwork, and psychedelics. I was committed to my growth.
3 A.M. Club: Leaders Who Overthink in the Dark
It’s 3:00 a.m.
You’re awake. Again.
Not because you want to be, but because your mind is spinning. Replaying the meeting. Rewriting the conversation. Running through worst-case scenarios.
I hear this all the time from the leaders I coach.
And I understand it deeply—because it still happens to me too.
Just the other night, I woke at 1:30 a.m., my mind racing about something that had happened earlier that day. I was triggered. I felt tight, activated, and restless.
When I Stopped Fixing My Mindset and Started Listening
We often discuss mindset—how to shift it, improve it, or upgrade it.
But recently, in a circle of interior designers and creative women, we tried something else:
We stopped trying to fix our thoughts and started listening to them instead.
Before the session, I had a panic attack.
It came out of nowhere—just a typical morning, walking my dog, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing. A wave of dread moved through me, and I didn’t even know why. I had just read an email.
My first instinct was to push it away, to figure it out, to get out of it. But instead, I remembered what I would soon be guiding others to do.
So I stopped.
And I stayed with it.
Not to analyze it. Not to fix it. To be with the sensation.
And slowly… it shifted. Not because I changed my thoughts.
But because I was willing to feel what was there, without judgment.
That’s the space we created in the session.
We asked:
What thought do you wish would go away?
What emotion do you avoid?
What if you stopped the battle with it, and just let it be?
Love your Work
What do you love to do?
What do you do that, when you're doing it, you lose track of time?
What activity brings a sense of peace, presence, and joy, not because of the outcome, but because of how it feels in the moment?
We often think it’s the thing we’re doing that makes us feel this way. But what if it’s something deeper? What if that sense of peace comes because we’ve stopped thinking? The mind quiets, and in that space, love shows up. Yes, I said it: Love appears when there is no thinking.