How Feeling My Disappointment Set Me Free
It was Sunday. My partner and I were on our way to Limantour Beach.
As usual, I brought my Gene Keys book. It’s a ritual for me — I sit quietly and ask the book to show me what it wants me to see. I open it to a random page, and I trust what comes.
That day it opened to the 55th Gene Key — the one that explores Victim Consciousness and Freedom.
As I began reading, a single line stopped me in my tracks:
“True freedom is not an effect. It is an ever-expanding consciousness that arises spontaneously inside you as you come to understand how deeply victimized you are by your own core beliefs.”
Leading Through a Quiet Season: What My Calendar—and the 18th Gene Key—Taught Me About Integrity
It’s been a slower season for me. Fewer client sessions. Less income. More space than I’m used to.
There have been moments where I’ve looked at my calendar and felt that familiar flicker of panic—What’s wrong? Why isn’t anything moving? And then the stories start: You should be doing more. Maybe you're not needed right now. Maybe you're failing.
But lately, I’ve been sitting with something from the 18th Gene Key that’s cracked me open in the best way:
“The secret of this Shadow is the gradual realization that your outer life is your greater body.”
What if nothing is wrong?
What if this pause is my body speaking?
When I Stopped Fixing My Mindset and Started Listening
We often discuss mindset—how to shift it, improve it, or upgrade it.
But recently, in a circle of interior designers and creative women, we tried something else:
We stopped trying to fix our thoughts and started listening to them instead.
Before the session, I had a panic attack.
It came out of nowhere—just a typical morning, walking my dog, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing. A wave of dread moved through me, and I didn’t even know why. I had just read an email.
My first instinct was to push it away, to figure it out, to get out of it. But instead, I remembered what I would soon be guiding others to do.
So I stopped.
And I stayed with it.
Not to analyze it. Not to fix it. To be with the sensation.
And slowly… it shifted. Not because I changed my thoughts.
But because I was willing to feel what was there, without judgment.
That’s the space we created in the session.
We asked:
What thought do you wish would go away?
What emotion do you avoid?
What if you stopped the battle with it, and just let it be?