When I Stopped Fixing My Mindset and Started Listening

We often discuss mindset—how to shift it, improve it, or upgrade it.

But recently, in a circle of interior designers and creative women, we tried something else:

We stopped trying to fix our thoughts and started listening to them instead.

Before the session, I had a panic attack.

It came out of nowhere—just a typical morning, walking my dog, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing. A wave of dread moved through me, and I didn’t even know why. I had just read an email.

My first instinct was to push it away, to figure it out, to get out of it. But instead, I remembered what I would soon be guiding others to do.

So I stopped.

And I stayed with it.

Not to analyze it. Not to fix it. To be with the sensation.

And slowly… it shifted. Not because I changed my thoughts.

But because I was willing to feel what was there, without judgment.

That’s the space we created in the session.

We asked:

What thought do you wish would go away?

What emotion do you avoid?

What if you stopped the battle with it, and just let it be?

One woman said she always feels like she’s not good enough.

Another said she’s constantly afraid she doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Instead of replacing those thoughts with positive ones, we tried something radical:

We felt them.

We let them move through us.

And we discovered what’s underneath.

For some, it was sadness.

For others, anxiety.

And beneath that… a quiet nothingness.

But it wasn’t empty. It was peaceful. Open. Real.

Here’s what I know:

Mindset doesn’t always need managing.

It needs care.

It needs honesty.

It needs presence.

Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for our minds is to stop trying to be better—and sit beside ourselves with love.

When we stop resisting our experience, we often discover that we’re okay. Not because we’ve arrived anywhere new—but because we’ve finally come home to what’s already here.

A few invitations to reflect on:

• What thought or emotion do I resist the most?

• What happens when I let myself feel it—instead of fixing it?

• What’s behind all the effort to be “enough,” “better,” or “in control”?

• Can I trust the quiet that’s underneath it all?

You are not your thoughts.

You are the awareness behind them.

And that awareness is wise.

If you’re looking for a new way to care for your mindset—

Start here.

Start with stillness.

Start with nothing.

Because from that place, something beautiful always begins.