Call Off the Search: Ending a 35-Year Quest

July is the month of freedom.

And after 35 years of being a seeker, I finally found mine.

I’ve spent most of my adult life seeking, trying to improve myself, trying to find “the truth.” I studied with masters like Fernando Flores, Toby Hecht, Richard Strozzi-Heckler, Wendy Palmer, Pema Chödrön, Tony Robbins, Donny Epstein, and the late Sydney Banks. I explored somatic work, breathwork, and psychedelics. I was committed to my growth.

However, no matter how much I learned, a subtle thread of restlessness always remained underneath it. A sense that I hadn’t quite arrived.

Then came the Gene Keys.

They found me, as many deep truths do, after another psychedelic journey. And this time, something clicked. Not just insight, but a sense of returning to myself.

The Gene Keys revealed something extraordinary: woven into our DNA is a Codon Ring called “The Ring of Seeking.” It includes Gene Keys 15, 38, 52, 53, 54, and 58. These keys speak to an inherent drive within us to evolve, to improve, to look for something “more.”

It was Gene Key 58 that ended my seeking career.

I was walking down a set of stairs, listening to Richard Rudd speak about the 58th Gene Key. He shared the story of Sri Ramana Maharshi—how, at the age of 16, he experienced spontaneous enlightenment and never left that state. People came from all over the world to sit in his presence. They didn’t receive teachings in the traditional sense; they simply remembered who they were.

One of his students, Papaji, carried this frequency and often told his students:

Call off the search.

One of those students was Gangaji, a woman whose words and presence deeply resonated with me.

When I started exploring their teachings, I felt something inside me settle.

All of this seeking… and here I was.

Yes, over the years, my life has improved—I've become kinder, more loving, and more aware. But underneath it all, I was still subtly chasing something outside of myself.

Now, when I feel something, I feel it.

I don’t engage with the story.

I don’t try to fix it.

I meet it.

Just today, I felt a wave of anger toward my business partner. She called and asked, “Are you angry with me?”

And I paused.

“No,” I said. “I’m not angry at you.”

I knew then I needed to sit. To become fully present.

Beneath the anger, I found fear.

Fear of not having enough money in the future.

The fear sat like a heavy stone in the middle of a mountain, blocking the tracks.

But when I met it, met it, with presence and no agenda—something shifted.

The stone dissolved.

And underneath was peace.

A deep, eternal peace.

The kind you don’t need to chase.

The kind that’s always been there.

As Gangaji says,

“Freedom is not something that is given to you by someone else. It is something you claim for yourself.”

That’s what this moment was: a claiming.

An end to the search.

So if you’ve been searching… maybe this is your invitation, too.

Call off the search.

Come home.

This is the space I hold for others now, especially for those who have spent years striving, growing, and achieving, yet still feel the quiet ache for something more true. What makes me effective isn’t a method or a mindset. It’s that I can sit with myself, which means I can sit with you. Fully. Without needing you to change. That’s where the shift happens.