3 A.M. Club: Leaders Who Overthink in the Dark

It’s 3:00 a.m.

You’re awake. Again.
Not because you want to be, but because your mind is spinning. Replaying the meeting. Rewriting the conversation. Running through worst-case scenarios.

I hear this all the time from the leaders I coach.
And I understand it deeply—because it still happens to me too.

Just the other night, I woke at 1:30 a.m., my mind racing about something that had happened earlier that day. I was triggered. I felt tight, activated, and restless.

In the past, I would have tried to think my way out of it.
I’d create stories about what happened and who was at fault. I’d convince myself I was right—or they were wrong. I’d try to control something that had already passed.

But what I’ve learned—and it’s a hard sell in leadership—is this:

The spinning mind is almost always covering up a feeling I don’t want to feel.

There’s always a deeper layer—a subtle emotion I haven’t yet accepted.
And when I resist that emotion, my mind jumps in to fix, blame, or escape.

This is what we do as leaders—we solve things.
But some things don’t need solving.
They need to be felt.

Here’s the counterintuitive truth I’ve discovered:

When I stop trying to make sense of it all—and instead turn toward the discomfort—it softens. It passes.

I stop telling stories. I stop assigning roles.
And in that pause… peace comes.

Meditation has helped me with this—not to bypass pain, but to be with it.
To allow what arises to come and go, without making it wrong or dramatic.

It doesn’t always feel easy, but it always works.
Not by forcing myself to be okay, but by welcoming myself as I am—in that moment.

And this changes everything.

As a leader, your ability to hold space for yourself becomes your capacity to hold space for others.
Your ability to be with discomfort—without reacting—becomes your most powerful leadership tool.

So the next time you find yourself wide awake at 3:00 a.m., ask yourself gently:

What feeling am I avoiding? What story am I telling? What would happen if I simply allowed myself to feel what’s here—without the story?

You don’t have to fix it.
You have to feel it.

And sometimes, it helps to have someone by your side.
You don’t have to do it alone.

I work with leaders who are ready to shift how they relate to pressure, presence, and purpose—starting from the inside out.
If you're longing for more clarity, support, or inner steadiness, I’d love to talk with you.

👉 Book a call with me or explore coaching at www.annascott.co