When Your Heart Opens, You Know.

For weeks, I couldn't feel desire.

I kept trying to understand it.

I read about it. Reflected on it. Asked questions. Turned it over in my mind from every angle.

Nothing.

The more I thought about desire, the further away it seemed.

I felt numb.

It was like pushing a boulder uphill, hoping that if I just thought a little harder, something would finally move.

Then I joined a Wealthstream call with Sarah McCrum.

She was speaking about desire. I listened carefully, trying to understand what she meant. When it came time for questions, I already knew what I was going to ask.

"Can you help me understand desire? I feel numb."

But before I could speak, something unexpected happened.

My heart opened.

Not metaphorically.

It actually opened.

The only way I can describe it is that it felt like a bathtub filling with warm water. Love poured through me until there was more than I could contain. It overflowed.

It was alive.

It was real.

And in that moment, I didn't need to understand desire anymore.

I was experiencing it.

After the call ended, I sat quietly.

Then something else began to unfold.

I looked back over my life.

I looked at my coaching practice.

And suddenly I saw something I had never noticed before.

Almost every meaningful conversation I have with a client eventually finds its way to a difficult relationship.

Not because I planned it.

Not because I had a coaching model.

Not because I decided relationships were my specialty.

Again and again, my attention was drawn there.

I became curious.

I wanted to understand.

I wanted people to experience freedom in the relationships that caused them pain.

It wasn't something I had chosen.

It was something already alive inside me.

In that moment, I realized something that took my breath away.

My desire had been living me all along.

I hadn't discovered it that afternoon.

I had recognized it.

For weeks I had been looking for desire as though it were something outside of me that I needed to find.

Instead, it had quietly been shaping my life for years.

It had been choosing where my attention went.

It had been influencing the conversations I loved.

It had been creating a life that reflected what mattered most to me.

I just hadn't noticed.

That changed something.

I stopped trying to figure desire out.

Instead, I became interested in listening to it.

Feeling it.

Trusting it.

Maybe that's why so many of us feel disconnected from what we want.

We spend so much time asking our minds to tell us what matters.

But sometimes our lives have already been answering the question.

Perhaps desire isn't something we create.

Perhaps it's something we recognize.

What has quietly been leading your life all along?

Is there something you've always been drawn toward?

A conversation you can't help having.

A problem you naturally want to solve.

A way of loving, creating, or serving that keeps appearing, even when you haven't planned it.

What if that isn't an accident?

What if that's your desire, quietly living in you?

And what if all that's left is to notice?

If you liked this blog, you may enjoy reading this blog on What do you Desire? https://www.annascott.co/blog/what-do-you-desire