Blog
Thoughts, reflections, and letters exploring what it means to be human and our true nature.
When Your Heart Opens, You Know.
For weeks, I couldn't feel desire.
I kept trying to understand it.
I read about it. Reflected on it. Asked questions. Turned it over in my mind from every angle.
Nothing.
The more I thought about desire, the further away it seemed.
I felt numb.
The Word That Changed Everything.
My partner and I were driving to my son's engagement party.
In the back of his car sat a bucket overflowing with white lilies, garden roses, bright orange poppies, and blue hydrangeas.
As we climbed the hill leaving our house, the bucket tipped over.
Water rushed across the trunk, soaking everything in its path.
He started screaming. Profanities poured from his mouth. Instantly, my breath stopped. My jaw locked so hard I felt it radiate through my temples. My gut tightened. My shoulders curled inward as my body contracted before I had even formed a thought.
He got out of the car, opened the trunk, and began moving the wet packages into the back seat, wiping up the water as quickly as he could.
I quietly stepped out to help. I carried the bucket to the edge of a nearby lawn and poured out the remaining water. Then I rearranged the flowers and placed them back into the trunk.
I didn't say a word.
Where is your attention?
We were two minutes into our session in the Oakland Redwoods when he said it.
A city inspector had come to his restaurant. He was telling me about the visit, the stress, what she had checked, and what she had flagged.
And then, almost in passing: "They sent the most difficult person."
He kept talking, but my attention shifted.
I had heard everything I needed to hear.
When I Stopped Fixing My Mindset and Started Listening
We often discuss mindset—how to shift it, improve it, or upgrade it.
But recently, in a circle of interior designers and creative women, we tried something else:
We stopped trying to fix our thoughts and started listening to them instead.
Before the session, I had a panic attack.
It came out of nowhere—just a typical morning, walking my dog, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing. A wave of dread moved through me, and I didn’t even know why. I had just read an email.
My first instinct was to push it away, to figure it out, to get out of it. But instead, I remembered what I would soon be guiding others to do.
So I stopped.
And I stayed with it.
Not to analyze it. Not to fix it. To be with the sensation.
And slowly… it shifted. Not because I changed my thoughts.
But because I was willing to feel what was there, without judgment.
That’s the space we created in the session.
We asked:
What thought do you wish would go away?
What emotion do you avoid?
What if you stopped the battle with it, and just let it be?