Fresh Eyes

✧ Fresh Eyes: The Magic of Not-Knowing at Work

When we think we know someone at work—who they are, how they act, what they’ll do—we stop actually seeing them.

We freeze them in our minds:
She’s always like this.
He never follows through.
They don’t get it.
And just like that, the relationship hardens. The space between us gets smaller.

Even when the story we’ve written about them is a positive one, we’re still holding onto the past. And that past doesn’t leave much room for anything new to emerge.

Wonder and curiosity are the doorways to connection.

In a work relationship—especially one that feels stuck, strained, or stagnant—being willing to not know is a quiet superpower. It opens up space. It signals to your nervous system that you don’t have to control the outcome. That something new might be waiting.

Recently, I worked with a client navigating tension with a colleague.

She came in certain:

“It will never change. We’re just too different.”

I asked her to pause. To get still.
To not figure it out—just to let something else in.

She sat quietly, then noticed two birds landing side by side on a wire.
She smiled. Teared up. Then whispered,

“I think I just need to let her be her. And me be me.”

That shift didn’t come from a strategy. It went from a space.
From not knowing long enough to let something softer arise.

She didn’t need a plan. She needed a moment.

And in that moment, the relationship began to shift—not because her colleague changed, but because she was seeing her with new eyes.

The invitation is this:

Let go of who you think someone is.
Let go of who you’ve decided they aren’t.
Meet them again.
See what you’ve never seen.
That’s where real connection lives.