Why Do Certain People Always Trigger Me? Understanding the Mirror Effect.
He was standing in front of me, yelling. My chest tightened. I wanted to disappear. For years, I called him abusive. I said he made me small. But the truth I couldn't see then? I was already small—long before he ever raised his voice.
I used to collect evidence against certain people—my first husband, a demanding boss, a client who questioned everything. Each one seemed to have power over me. My stomach would twist. My voice would go tight. I'd replay their words for days, building an airtight case for why they were the problem.
“OOP’S THAT WAS ME!”
Relationships are tricky.
I’m like every other human being—
I’ve struggled in them, suffered through them, and grown because of them.
I’ve been in an abusive marriage, where I was ridiculed and belittled.
I’ve been heartbroken—abruptly cut off by a best friend over something I still don’t understand.
I’ve left jobs because I couldn’t get along with my boss.
And then, years ago, I came across a teaching called The Three Principles.
This simple but profound understanding changed everything—especially my relationships.
It revealed something radically clear:
I’m never experiencing another person. I’m experiencing my thoughts about them.