Why Do Certain People Always Trigger Me? Understanding the Mirror Effect.
He was standing in front of me, yelling. My chest tightened. I wanted to disappear. For years, I called him abusive. I said he made me small. But the truth I couldn't see then? I was already small—long before he ever raised his voice.
I used to collect evidence against certain people—my first husband, a demanding boss, a client who questioned everything. Each one seemed to have power over me. My stomach would twist. My voice would go tight. I'd replay their words for days, building an airtight case for why they were the problem.
Bring Your Truth to Work
I worked in corporate sales for 20 years. At Polycom, it was the end of the quarter, and what mattered more than anything was meeting my number — even at the cost of the client’s well-being. I felt dirty. Numbers mattered. Image mattered. But inside, I felt hollow — like a puppet going through the motions.
My Training Partner
When Love Grows You
My daughter Mattie and I recently went hiking in Point Reyes. Before we hit the trail, we picked up lunch and sat on the ground outside a bakery, laughing and talking. Something about the moment caught a stranger’s attention—they asked to take our photo.
I laughed out loud. If you’ve read my earlier blogs, you know why: our relationship hasn’t always looked like that.