It Wasn’t Complicated After All
My son is spending Christmas away for the first time.
Twenty-nine years of shared rituals, and now a quiet change.
I didn’t have an issue with him going. That part felt clean.
What hurt was something else.
I wasn’t held in mind.
Plans were made — with friends, with travel, with what came next — and somehow I wasn’t part of the orientation. When dates were offered later, they landed flat. January 25 didn’t feel like a celebration. It felt like a placeholder.
The meaning that came immediately was familiar:
I don’t matter. I’m not a priority.
“OOP’S THAT WAS ME!”
Relationships are tricky.
I’m like every other human being—
I’ve struggled in them, suffered through them, and grown because of them.
I’ve been in an abusive marriage, where I was ridiculed and belittled.
I’ve been heartbroken—abruptly cut off by a best friend over something I still don’t understand.
I’ve left jobs because I couldn’t get along with my boss.
And then, years ago, I came across a teaching called The Three Principles.
This simple but profound understanding changed everything—especially my relationships.
It revealed something radically clear:
I’m never experiencing another person. I’m experiencing my thoughts about them.