Before She Decided to Quit
This story is based on my work with a client. I have changed identifying details to protect her privacy.
She came to see me because she was ready to quit her job.
She had helped build the company over ten years and was now its COO. She cared about the work, but she was miserable. Other companies had offered her CEO positions. She didn’t believe in their products, and she didn’t want a role that would take even more time from her children.
As she spoke, I sensed anger beneath her words and asked about it. She paused. Yes, she was angry.
Her boss had passed her over for a position. After all she had given, she felt unseen. She kept replaying his decision, trying to understand what it meant about her.
I asked if she was hurt. She was. She felt betrayed.
We stayed with that. She didn’t have to push the hurt away or decide anything yet. Once she let herself feel it, she could see how much the hurt had been choosing for her.
Beneath it was something steadier: what was true for her. She still loved the work, and the people she led. She wanted to be seen for what she gave.
I invited her to talk with her boss, not to win, but to understand. She asked what he had seen when he made his decision, and she listened.
His answer gave her information she hadn’t had before. She could hear his perspective without setting her own aside. Then she told him what she had felt, and what she still wanted. Both of them had room in that conversation. Both of them kept their dignity.
Then she could look at her job with clear eyes. She had a leadership role and time with her children. She could consider the other offers without needing one of them to carry her away from the hurt.
She was free to leave. She was also free to stay. Either way, the choice was hers.
I see this again and again. When we lose touch with what’s true for us, our relationships start making our decisions for us, whether it’s with our work, the people we work with, or ourselves. When we return to our own nature, we find that truth again. We can choose. And we can let others be free too.
If you’re miserable at work and can’t tell whether it’s time to leave, let’s begin with what’s true for you. Together, we can make room for what you feel and discover what you want.
