She Got on a Plane

This morning I spoke to a friend who is in Amsterdam.

After we hung up the phone, I noticed a strong feeling move through me. I checked in with my heart and stayed with what was there.

First came resentment. That she could travel. That she could get up and go while I feel stuck here. I recognized it immediately — that is a story, not a truth about my friend.

Underneath the resentment was jealousy. And the jealousy was useful — because it showed me what I actually wanted. To travel. That was real information.

But there was still no peace. Something else was underneath. So I stayed. Present with the feeling. Not following the story. Not making my friend wrong. Just staying.